TOOLS FOR THE FUTURE OR DISTRACTIONS FOR NOW

Did you buy something to distract your kid from life or did you give them a tool that will help their future?

Christmas just came and went again, it was busy and weird for everyone this year I'm sure. But I want to say something I realized in the calm of the cleanup portion we are in now. Most of us have family that couldn’t be part of our holiday this year so I had to send the pictures via text or whatever to all our relatives, and as I sent each image embossed with the chaos of the morning, something hit me, we did it! We bought our kids tools for their future, not distractions for now.

Our twins Rocco and Asher got their first golf sets, legos, books, Zane got a huge Hotwheels garage, a telescope, and a microscope, our oldest Gianna got a legit professional motorized pottery wheel; and a book series she's been wanting for a long time.

This wasn't on accident - my mother in law gave some solid advice to keep Christmas with 4 kids from spiraling out of hand, she raised 7 kids so she knows a thing or two about this. The sound and sobering advice she passed on was "buy them something they need, something to wear, something to read, something they want." We took that to heart this year and kept it minimal and intentional.

I started to send out the pictures and make calls to family sharing how the morning went. That's when I saw it - We gave our kids tools, not distractions! We INVESTED in their interests, we considered their aptitudes and personalities and gave them gifts that encourage growth not subdue their energy. Not saying I'd say no to some 30pd ankle weights for the twins to keep them still for a little bit but you get my point.

When I realized what we did it completely changed the way I looked at gift-giving; what an absolutely fantastic opportunity to equip our kids with life skills for their future. Now don't get me wrong, they got plenty of boredom breakers. We specifically stayed away from electronics, tablets, or phones this year. I see them as tools too but right now at our kid's age - that's waaaaaaay too much open unregulated road for their downtime. We want our kids to invest in themselves, and take time to think about what can be done with their boredom instead of trying to fill that bored-time with watching someone else do something. Look we are not a 0 tech home and I'm not preaching against screen time, but we have such a set amount of time with our kids when they are KIDS and that time should be used to invest in more than 'keep the kids occupied'. So when we have an opportunity to give a gift, give a tool that can become a skill, that will enrich their time on this planet.

Now for sure, I'm an analog dude in a digital world, so it's super easy for me to just not give the kids electronics - ill give you that. Heck, this blog page is about as 'tech' savvy as I get. In fact, we used a local website design and digital marketing company to build the site because despite the great levels of 'user-friendly options available now I'm a digital deadbeat. Thank God for Lucent Digital and their help! (lucentdigital.co if you're in the same spot)

When I first wrote the rough draft for this blog - I wrote and deleted several paragraphs where I rant about the vapid self-centeredness that social media brings to children, how it hurts hinders and isolates the mental health of children and young adults more than it helps them. There are loads of great reads now, clinically backed resources about this - I deleted that section a few times because the best action we can take as parents always need to be positive ones, and my rants were ... FAR from positive. Just be informed and be involved, no kid or young teenager needs to be that self-absorbed.

I do want to add one caution here though, this mentality can be overdone! Our intention as parents should never be to 'make our kids futures for them' what I mean is don't force something on your child that doesn't fit them. It is good for kids to play sports and be athletic, but if your child genuinely has rejected baseball don't buy him a glove. If your daughter is struggling with reading on her own time - don't buy her the Harry Potter series. My point is to encourage don't push. Kids don't respond to pushing.

Look, our kids see the world differently every day, and every week they hit a new milestone of development. Their brains grow at such an incredible rate its almost impossible to keep in front of that, heck it's overwhelming if you even try to run alongside them as they change and grow. So why not make the most of the times you do have and give them more than entertainment but give them gifts that can be opportunities to do more. Give kids tools, not distractions.